the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
