I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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