why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
