what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
