FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
