Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
