i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
