sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
