If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we're making bets on your personal life
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
