i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
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apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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