When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
