happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
