I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
