just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
