I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
