This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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