I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
