if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
