She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
