Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
