Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
