in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
