I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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