So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
