just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
