Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
