theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
