he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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