Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
