the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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