Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
