I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
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You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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