i just wanna soil my oats bro
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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