Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
