I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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