So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize