I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
