I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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