i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
