she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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