This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
