Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
