Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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