My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
