I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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