so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
