mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
