Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
