I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
