Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
