also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
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Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
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Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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