I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
