Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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