your room smells of hookers.
And success
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize