Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
