sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
