y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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