your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
