First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Enjoy the penises
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize