is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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