Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
