he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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