Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
