last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Randomize
